{"id":1481,"date":"2018-10-05T05:54:00","date_gmt":"2018-10-05T05:54:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/?p=1481"},"modified":"2025-09-29T16:45:21","modified_gmt":"2025-09-29T16:45:21","slug":"bb-jimmy-kimmel-produces-document-confirming-he-is-nations-moral-authority","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/?p=1481","title":{"rendered":"BB: &#8220;Jimmy Kimmel Produces &#8230; Document Confirming He Is Nation\u2019s Moral Authority&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>The Never-Happy people will confirm the above. Colbert probably has a similar document.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"320\" height=\"181\" src=\"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/6a00d834525a2f69e2022ad3b61bd3200b-320wi.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-13129\" title=\"Kimmel document\" srcset=\"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/6a00d834525a2f69e2022ad3b61bd3200b-320wi.jpg 320w, https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/6a00d834525a2f69e2022ad3b61bd3200b-320wi-300x170.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 320px) 100vw, 320px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/babylonbee.com\/news\/jimmy-kimmel-produces-official-document-confirming-nations-moral-authority\">\u201cI know some people have questioned my impassioned political speeches, so let me just show you this,\u201d Kimmel said before presenting the document for all the world to see. \u201cI guess I assumed it was obvious due to the tone of my lectures and the obvious emotion behind them, but just in case anyone is unclear\u2014I am, in fact, this nation\u2019s highest moral authority.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cGo ahead and zoom in on it,\u201d the host said as he held the paper still for a moment. \u201cTake a good look. And check out those asterisks at the top\u2014this is the real deal. I sincerely hope none of you will question my authority again.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cSo whether I\u2019m holding court about nationalized health care, women\u2019s rights, or gun control: I am right, and only right, all the time. And if you disagree with me, you are wrong and you passionately want people to die,\u201d he added.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>At publishing time, the document\u2019s origins are unknown, with most experts hypothesizing that Kimmel himself printed it out in his office before the show.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Never-Happy people will confirm the above. Colbert probably has a similar document. \u201cI know some people have questioned my impassioned political speeches, so let me just show you this,\u201d Kimmel said before presenting the document for all the world to see. \u201cI guess I assumed it was obvious due to the tone of my [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1481","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1481","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1481"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1481\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13130,"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1481\/revisions\/13130"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1481"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1481"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1481"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}