Sent to me by Jeanne Marie Gagnon who deserves all the credit and blame for this one. She thought #6 was best; I liked #’s 5 and 8: <\/p>\n
1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess
looks at him and says, "I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per
passenger." <\/p>\n
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says,
"Dam!" <\/p>\n
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. Unsurprisingly the vessel caught fire and sank, proving once again that
you can’t have your kayak and heat it too. <\/p>\n
4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I’ve lost my electron." The other
says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I’m positive." <\/p>\n
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root canal?
His goal was: transcend dental medication. <\/p>\n
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in
the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour,
the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?"
they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can’t stand chess-nuts
boasting in an open foyer." <\/p>\n
7. A woman has identical twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them
goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in
Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself
to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that
she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They’re
twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal." <\/p>\n
8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a
small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the
men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair.
He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and
begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired
Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" >them
to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he’d be
back if they didn’t close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that
only Hugh can prevent florist friars. <\/p>\n
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little,
which made him rather frail. And with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him … A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. <\/p>\n
10. And finally, there was the guy who sent ten different puns to his
friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun
in ten did. <\/p>\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Sent to me by Jeanne Marie Gagnon who deserves all the credit and blame for this one. She thought #6 was best; I liked #’s 5 and 8: 1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger." 2. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4320","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4320","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4320"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4320\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13803,"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4320\/revisions\/13803"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4320"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4320"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4320"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}