{"id":860,"date":"2022-03-23T04:33:00","date_gmt":"2022-03-23T04:33:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/?p=860"},"modified":"2025-09-29T04:22:28","modified_gmt":"2025-09-29T04:22:28","slug":"ncaa-womens-swim-champ-caught-with-performance-enhancing-testicles","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/?p=860","title":{"rendered":"NCAA women&#8217;s swim champ caught with performance-enhancing testicles!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/babylonbee.com\/news\/ncaa-swimming-champ-caught-in-possession-of-performance-enhancing-testicles\">ATLANTA, GA\u2014Celebrations for winning the 500-yard freestyle at the NCAA Women\u2019s Swimming and Diving Championships were short-lived for convincingly female athlete Lia Thomas, as authorities caught her in possession of performance-enhancing testicles.<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a class=\"asset-img-link\" href=\"https:\/\/tomfaranda.typepad.com\/.a\/6a00d834525a2f69e20278807259d0200d-pi\" style=\"display: inline;\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Women testicles\" class=\"asset  asset-image at-xid-6a00d834525a2f69e20278807259d0200d img-responsive\" src=\"https:\/\/tomfaranda.typepad.com\/.a\/6a00d834525a2f69e20278807259d0200d-400wi\" style=\"width: 360px;\" title=\"Women testicles\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\">\u201cInvestigators will need time to sift through the trail of evidence right now,\u201d said NCAA\u2019s Head of Testicle Enforcement, Bob Huevos, while holding up a jock strap, the device suspected to have been used to conceal the contraband from rigorous testing protocols. \u201cWe suspect the swimmer used this contraption to keep the performance-enhancing testicles secured between her legs.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\">Blood tests of the disgraced, obviously-female swimmer have led Huevos to believe Thomas had a long history of using testicles to dose with powerful testosterone, perhaps beginning in early childhood.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\">\u201cLong term testicle use like this may explain the female swimmer\u2019s towering height, powerful muscles, dense bone structure, deep voice, and bulging crotch,\u201d explained Huevos, \u201cThese permanent mutations from testosterone abuse would have given her a lifetime advantage over other female athletes even if she were to quit and go on estrogen. For that reason, Lia Thomas should be disqualified from competition.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\">This may not be the end of Lia Thomas\u2019 story, however. In the name of equity, diversity, and inclusion, the disgraced swimmer has been given a second chance with an invitation to compete as a collegiate swimmer in the NCAA Swimming And Diving Championships For Women With Testicles.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>ATLANTA, GA\u2014Celebrations for winning the 500-yard freestyle at the NCAA Women\u2019s Swimming and Diving Championships were short-lived for convincingly female athlete Lia Thomas, as authorities caught her in possession of performance-enhancing testicles. \u201cInvestigators will need time to sift through the trail of evidence right now,\u201d said NCAA\u2019s Head of Testicle Enforcement, Bob Huevos, while holding [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-860","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/860","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=860"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/860\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7390,"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/860\/revisions\/7390"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=860"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=860"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tomfarandasfolly.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=860"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}