A questionable strategy…
"I know I'm complicit in a lot of evil, God, but have you seen what the other guys were doing?" he said. "Man, they were doing a LOT of bad stuff. Really offensive to Your holiness. I bet you're pretty glad I was there to stop them." Peterson explained how he had a choice between caging kids and killing babies and so he just settled for what he felt was "the lesser of two evils."
"I mean, you gotta admit, it was a tough call," he said, shrugging. "Classic Catch 22. Hehehe." He chuckled nervously to fill the awkward silence.
"Anyway, I'll just slip on through the Pearly Gates, then, Lord?"
"Lord, Lord?"