“10 Guaranteed ways to impress your wife” (Brigid & Tom in picture)

Yeah that’s us three years ago. Posted three (my favorites) of the ten ways below the picture… hit the link for the others

After you get married, it’s common for the flame of love to cool, with each spouse eventually reaching the point of using the toilet with the bathroom door open, wearing nothing but sweatpants around the house, and finding deep-seated flaws in the way each other breathes. Thankfully, that can all be turned around by really knocking your wife’s socks off. How, you ask? The Babylon Bee is here to give you some handy tips on how to impress your wife.

(1) Memorize long passages of Beowulf and recite them to her while she tries to sleep: She’ll be so enthralled by your manly intellectual prowess that she’ll totally forget that you’re keeping her from getting much-needed rest.

(3) Chop wood in the backyard with your shirt off while looking like Brad Pitt: If you don’t look like Brad Pitt, fix that right now, loser.

(9) Be a multi-millionaire: This is really the only tip needed, so just focus on reaching this one.