This was sent to me by a good friend, who I haven’t seen in 25 years, by the name of Kevin Rowley. Brigid and I knew Kevin when we lived in Jamaica, where we all were teaching. Kevin was a wonderful rugby player, raconteur, and all-around good guy. He is currently in Australia.
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel
and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the
next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I’ll give you $800
to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in
front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman
wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit
and risk with your shareholders, you may be in a position to prevent
avoidable exposure.
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Lesson 2:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, "I’ll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She’s gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on
the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and
the love of my life." Puff! He’s gone.
OK, you’re up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want
those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say ..
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Lesson 3:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw
the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The
eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the
eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and
ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
very, very high up .
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Lesson 4:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the
top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven’t got the energy."
"Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
They’re packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating
some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night,
the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly
spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story: BullSh*t might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you
there ..
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